I had a chat with some long lost friends on MSN last night, and since I haven't logged on for over half a year, these lovely people asked my whereabouts. Responding one of them, there was some truth. I told her I vanished because I don't know how to face up my frak-ups. Major ones. Not big ones, but ones could make people hate me for the rest of their lives.
Truth is, I don't even know where that came from. That was actually the very first time I truly admitted to anyone, myself included, that I frakked up several things in my career which technically hasn't even taken place. I wasn't even aware of it until I felt the relief. "Mistakes, mistakes, mistakes that are huge," says Sam Dowson. So, I would save myself the trouble and money of seeing a shrink, and write down my frak-ups so that I could start facing them.
- No-show on a friend's production. This was the greatest frak-up and I hope not for another surpass. The reason was I was too involved in a social movement and overslept. That poor guy was a really nice man. Totally. I haven't answered any of his call since I found out what I just did. Poor guy Adam.I gave him an equipment list the day before production and he did exactly as requested. Since I didn't show up, he had to deal with all the lights, filters, dolly, etc. He must have hated me. It's bad enough to make an MV without a DP. What's even worse was he had zero technical background. I could imagine his face that morning, looking at carts of stuff he knew nothing about. The thing that made me a total frakked up coward on this was that a junior once told me he saw that MV and the white balance was a total screw up. That makes the film a screwed up. Adam, if you're reading this, I'm sorry. This is unforgivable.
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